“Discipling your child is not primarily your church’s job, your child’s school’s job, or your pastor’s job. This job is yours. This job is vital and requires your unique best... Making disciples at home is not ‘one more thing’ to add to your list of parental tasks. It is the thing, the primary mission and calling that should undergird every single interaction your family is fortunate enough to have.”

For the next installment of our “Book Shelf” series, I will be summarizing and strongly recommending Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin’s book, Family Discipleship.

If you are a parent, you are a disciple-maker. Whether you’re aware of it or not, you are influencing and guiding and teaching your child(ren) every day. The question is: What kind of disciple are you making? In Family Discipleship, Matt Chandler and Adam

Griffin point out really simple yet powerful ways to be intentional with the task of parenting. They encourage readers that they can orient their family’s life around that which is most important: knowing, believing, and loving Jesus. Here’s their definition of family discipleship: 

“[L]eading your home by doing whatever you can whenever you can to help your family become friends and followers of Jesus Christ.”

This book outlines 4 things Christian parents can do to disciple their kids in the way of the Lord.

1. Model.

Your kids know you really well. They watch, observe, listen, and learn. And then they imitate. That’s the scary part! What example are we setting for our children to follow? Discipling your children goes beyond teaching them with words about Jesus and the Bible. Following Jesus is not just taught; it’s caught. We want to speak the gospel clearly to our kids, and we also want to be a living lesson for them as to what it actually looks like to follow God in life.

2. Time.

Chandler and Griffin recommend having a consistent gathering time as a family that can be used for intentional discipleship. In the nonstop world of overloaded schedules and busy lives, it can feel like a monumental task just to have your whole family sit down together for five minutes. But this is a battle worth fighting! Our calendars should reflect our values, so we should make it a point to carve out some discipleship time in our family rhythms. This can be something you do once a day or once a month. All it consists of is time in God’s Word, prayer, conversation, and worship.

Adding a consistent time of open dialogue about God and His gospel could pay massive dividends in your family’s discipleship. It may feel forced and awkward at times depending on the season and ages of kids. But the more faithful we are to set aside a time like this, the more it will become a part of our families’ DNA and normal rhythm. On a personal note, my dad did this incredibly well growing up. Every night before bed he would read the Bible, pray with us, and speak blessings over us. I know without a doubt that the Lord used those times to shape me into the man I am today.

And even if there were evenings that felt forced or awkward (there were none that I remember), I am forever grateful that my dad faithfully set aside an intentional time of discipleship for me and my siblings.

3. Moments.

Life always throws curveballs. It will take more than a healthy routine to disciple our families. We as parents should stay prepared for specific opportunities where we can speak God’s truth into the current circumstances of our kids’ lives. In order to do this effectively, we need to put some things into place. First, we should always be growing in our own awareness of God’s presence and God’s work. He is never not

related to whatever our kids are going through. God is always at work and always near. We can take advantage of discipleship moments by simply drawing our kids’ attention to His existence and involvement in their lives.

Second, it is impossible to have discipleship moments when we don’t know

what’s going on in our children’s lives. Parents should intentionally fight to be fully present with their kids. To listen well. To ask good questions. To know what is going on at school, at work, on their sports teams, etc. And to ask what’s going on emotionally, physically, and spiritually. In other words: “If you want to be an effective disciple-maker, you have to be an effective relationship builder.” Lastly, we should have biblical language and knowledge ready to apply. In moments of hurt, anger, confusion, disappointment, regret, shame, or discipline, the good news of the gospel should be our landing spot. That’s where we as parents should drive the conversation every time.

4. Milestones.

Finally, the authors recommend marking milestones with a godward focus. “The goal of a milestone is, in large part, remembrance - that you would not forget God’s rightful place in your life and all that he is doing in and through you.” Birthdays, holidays, and graduations are times parents can remind their kids of how God has moved. The aim is to always point our kids to Jesus. Time and time again. Milestones are a specific tool we can use to this end.

The task of parenting is monumental. It can be intimidating, exhausting,

overwhelming, and discouraging. The point of this book (and this blog summary) is not to add to the burden of parenting. Rather, it is to shift the whole focus of what we are called to do as parents. Everything we do as parents can be aligned with the goal of making disciples of Jesus. Will we ever do this perfectly? No. And God’s grace meets us there. Let’s come to a posture of surrender. Our children ultimately belong to God. They

are in His sovereign hands. And they are a gift. Let’s ask God for help to be good stewards of our short time with our kids. He gives us His word to equip us, His Spirit to empower us, and His love to motivate us. Parents, you have been SENT!