Last week a little girl told me about the teacher at her school who kept scolding the class with these words, “Shame on you!” If that teacher wants her students to carry around shame for something they did—or didn’t do with the right attitude, she’s adding a drop to the ocean. According to research, there’s plenty of shame to go around these days. It sticks to us like a bad batch of slime. 

If you’re a human being, you know about shame. It doesn’t waste time finding us out. At recess when it’s time to pick teams. In the cafeteria when the heavy kid or awkwardly skinny kid sits down to eat. Apparently in the classroom too, if your math skills are lacking. The Middle School dance. Cheerleading try-outs. You get the idea. If you’re clumsy, slow, heavy, too tall, too skinny, dirty, or poor, then “Shame on you!”

Shame is the deep sense that you are unacceptable because of something you did, something done to you, or something associated with you. It’s the terrifying feeling that we don’t measure up. We’re unpresentable. Unwelcome and unwanted. So we hide. We run. We find ways to cope. But you can’t drive shame away. Your best shot is to cover it. Keep it hidden. That’s what humans do best—or perhaps worst. 

Before they sinned, Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. They were fully known and fully loved—by God and one another. Sin changed everything. Naked still, but now fear, guilt, and shame plagued them. So they hid— from God and one another. They put plants over their nakedness to cope with shame. We haven’t made much progress since.  

If you want some help identifying your shame, consider this question: What are you hiding? What’s your secret? When it’s time to fill out an application, which section gives you pause? Past criminal record? Health condition? Current income? Age? Weight? Last grade completed? Your address? Marital status? Maybe even your last name…? Shame is powerful.     

Shame is not guilt. They’re close friends but from different families. Guilt lives in a courtroom. Shame lives in a community. Guilt says “I did something wrong.” Shame says “I am something wrong.” Biblical counselor Ed Welch writes: 

“If you talk about guilt to people under thirty, you often get blank stares. But if you talk about “worthless,” “failure,” or “shame,” they feel as if you have deciphered the core of their being. For them, shame is arguably the human problem.”       

That’s insightful. Shame, the human problem. What can be done about it? A better question is, What has been done about it? And that takes us to the Cross. 

Have you ever wondered why the New Testament doesn’t provide more details about the physical suffering of Jesus? The writers seem to almost exercise restraint. All four of them pass up the opportunity to sensationalize the physical agonies of Jesus. Instead, they stoically report: 

“And they crucified him and divided his garments among them” (Mark 15:24). That’s it! No descriptions of massive spikes being driven through his hands and feet. We’re not told of the vertical beam slamming into the ground and jarring every bone, muscle and joint, ripping open fresh wounds. Mums the word. 

Even the report about Jesus being scourged seems condensed. The practice was so barbaric and intense, many victims didn’t survive. The trauma and loss of blood often killed the victims before they were crucified. 

Why does the Bible spare us those details? Here’s a clue from James Edwards. “In Mark the accent on the crucifixion narrative falls not on its brutality and cruelty but on the shame and the mockery to which Jesus is subjected.” 

You cannot read the New Testament account of Jesus suffering and dying without feeling the shame. The Cross was about abandonment. Rejection. That’s what our sin deserves. Exposure. All of creation is looking down on Jesus to shame him—even God. That was the most intense shame. Rejection by his Father.  

We all naturally run from shame, partly as a defense mechanism. We’ll do anything to avoid it, even take our own life. But Jesus ran toward shame, and gave his own life. Hebrews 12 says for the joy that was set before Him, Jesus endured the cross and despised the shame. He faced it head on, considering shame an unworthy comparison with what his mission would accomplish.

He took the weight of our guilt and shame so that we no longer have to bear them. Never again can you say that Jesus doesn’t understand. He was the sin-bearer and shame-bearer. We can finally be clean and belong! Brene Brown, said “If you put shame in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive. The two most powerful words when we’re in shame are ‘me too.’” She’s close.

The most powerful words are not “me too.” They’re “me instead.” Jesus didn’t just share our shame. He didn’t just empathize. He traded places with us. He went outside the gates to a place of shame and hung on a tree—not with us, but for us. Instead of us.

Jesus had every right to confront us, point his divine finger in our face and say “Shame on you, sinner!” But he didn’t do that. Instead, he came, sought us out, lifted our heads to stare into his lovely face and said “Shame OFF you.” That’s the gospel. 

To hear more about Jesus defeating your shame, check out this resource: 

https://www.gracelifeflorida.com/sermons/sermon/2020-02-09/from-death-to-life:-part-1-shame-mark-15:16-32