Facing yourself—the real you—is terrifying. In fact it’s so terrifying, few people ever do it. Belle Gibson rose to fame in 2012 as a self-proclaimed health guru who was curing her own brain cancer through healthy eating, positive thinking, and clean living. She took to Instagram, claiming a doctor diagnosed her with terminal brain cancer and gave her four months to live. 

But she was going to defy the odds, fight the sickness, and beat the cancer. She posted her journey and amassed millions of followers—many of them cancer patients who were inspired by her story and encouraged to follow her example in pursuing alternative medicine. 

Gibson eventually released an app of her recipes called Whole Pantry and authored a companion cookbook. The following year she worked with Apple on the development of an Apple Watch-specific platform. In 2014 she was awarded the ‘Fun, Fearless, Female’ award by Cosmopolitan. She rose to prominence fast.  

But her world began to crumble when her story came under the scrutiny of close friends, journalists, and medical professionals. A popular Melbourne newspaper launched a investigation into Gibson’s claims of donating to numerous charities. That investigation uncovered a world of deception. It turns out, Gibson was a complete fraud. She did not contribute proceeds to charity. She was not beating cancer with healthy living. In fact, she did not even have cancer. But she was sick. Very sick. She was a chronic liar. 

The backlash came. Outrage from her followers, deeper investigations on her history, and even legal proceedings for reparations. At one point, Gibson was fined $410,000 by a Federal Court for her false claims of charitable donations. The judge described her as having “a relentless obsession with herself and what serves her best interests.” 

In 2015, Gibson gave a famous TV interview with 60 Minutes Journalist Tara Brown in which she claimed “I’m not trying to get away with anything.” During that interview, Brown gave Gibson repeated opportunities to come clean, get honest, tell the truth, and confess her wrongdoing. At one point, Brown looked directly at Gibson, obviously frustrated at her unwillingness to tell the truth. She asked a simple question: “How old are you?” Gibson lied again, saying she was twenty six. Brown presented her birth records, stating she was clearly twenty three. You could see in Brown’s demeanor the astonishment as she realized the girl in front of her was not simply unwilling to be honest, but unable. 

Gibson continued in her life of deception, self-centeredness, narcissism, and denial. She has a history of fractured relationships, bold lies, and hurt followers. She never faced her true self. But that’s the only self God is interested in helping. 

When God finds Jacob alone and afraid, He pounces on him, wears him down, and dislocates his hip. Jacob was trapped. He couldn’t escape. But then something amazing happens. Jacob realizes Who he is up against and makes a daring request:

Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” —Genesis 32:26–28

Jacob wants to be blessed. Don’t we all? That’s what he’s been chasing his entire life. But he’s gone about it the wrong way. Lying. Cheating. Stealing. Charming. He came up short. He feels guilty and empty. But God is about to give him the opportunity of a lifetime. It’s the same opportunity God gives us all. He invites us to face ourselves in His presence. He invites us to get honest about who we really are, so He can change us. 

That’s the point that is often missed in God’s strange demand that Jacob give his name. Obviously God wasn’t looking for information. He was inviting a confession. Do you remember what the name Jacob means? Cheat, swindler, schemer, con man. Fraud. Fake. Your name was your character. Gloriously cornered, Jacob complies and owns his identity. And then things get interesting. God changes Jacob forever. 

All of the sudden his eyes were opened and he finally realized that his real problem was not Esau or his dad. It wasn’t Laban or his coddling mother. No. Jacob’s real problem was Jacob. Until this point, Jacob had played the victim.

We do it, too. Think about the conflict in your life. Don’t we often play it up to the issues of others? It’s a hard life. A hard marriage. A hard teacher. A hard boss. Maybe even hard friendships. But maybe the issue is actually our hard heart.

If pressed by God, maybe we’d see our real struggle, and make a confession:  I am LUST. I am GREED. I am PRIDE. I am ANGER. I am ENVY. I am CONTROL. I am LAZY. We have to face ourselves. The real us.  

 That’s the most terrifying experience. Facing ourself. Who we really are. Deep down inside. We run from that. We don’t want to think about it or talk about it. We don’t even want to know what’s down there. But God refuses to give us a surface experience.

In her song, Water/Wind/Fire, Jess Ray sings about God: “You are the ocean, wildly rushing in. Busting every barricade, flooding every secret place. We say we wanna feel you, we say we wanna dive in. I'm the fool for thinking I can just put my feet in…”

Jacob couldn’t just put his feet in anymore. He plunged deep underneath and found a loving God who had been in his corner all along. God was ready to change Jacob the second he got honest and confessed his sin. Jacob realized in the struggle that God was not after his life. He was after his heart. 

It’s interesting to consider Jacob’s past pursuits of “getting a blessing.” Do you recall? Before, Jacob lied to his father, Isaac in order to obtain God’s blessing. Isaac asked him point blank, “Who are you?” He answered “I am Esau, your firstborn” *Gen 27:19. But he can’t lie to God. It’s game up. Time to get honest. Time to tell the truth. Time to face yourself.

God gives Jacob a new name, Israel, which means God fights. It’s a promise. God fights for us. The blessing you are searching for is not going to come from more striving or deceiving. It comes by submitting. God doesn’t help those who help themselves. 

Jordan Peterson, a world-renowned psychologist and cultural critic opened his “We who wrestle with God” tour with these words: “Why do we wrestle with God?”

The answer is clear if we’re honest: we want to be blessed. But we want to be blessed our way. Which means we feel the need to prove ourselves. That we’re worthy. We’re able. We’re capable. We’re competent. Beautiful. Intelligent. Accomplished.

People spend their entire lives “running up that hill” only to find the top is a mirage. We’re profoundly flawed and incapable. And we know it when we face the truth. When we slow down, get alone, face our weakness, and get honest.

Jacob suddenly realized what you and I need to realize: the fulfillment we’ve been looking for in work, friendships, a spouse, kids, an American dream, making money, the blessing we’ve been looking for is actually in the face of God. The text is moving. It says, “God blessed him there." 

 What was Jacob’s blessing? He got a new identity. Conferring a new name on someone is often a kingly prerogative in Scripture. From now on, Jacob shall be called Israel. The victim is now the victor! 

God got big that day. Jacob put a hashtag on that location. "I have seen the face of God and YET my life is spared.” Jacob not only saw God's face. He touched God—and lived. Both should have been fatal encounters. So how did he survive? For one reason: 

Someone else stood in God’s presence and was destroyed on Jacob’s behalf. Jesus, who was not a cheat. He was not manipulative. He was not a fraud. He was an Israelite in whom there was no 'guile.' He was the spotless lamb, whose body was not just put out of joint, but torn and shredded for us. 

Jacob’s encounter with God ended with a blessing. He got grace. Jesus’ encounter with God ended with a curse. He got wrath. Jacob was wounded by God. Jesus was slain. 

Have you been changed by God? Stop fighting and start confessing. Watch what happens. Remember, we were so sinful, Jesus had to die. But God loves us so much, he was glad to.