God is our creator and father. He made us—in His image. Part of our image-bearing privilege is to make things. We make tiny humans. We need help with that. It’s a partnership. Thank God for adoption and fostering, and all the common grace opportunities for children to find homes, and couples to welcome a child into their home.

God creates things. He makes things. We’re like that too. We pro-create. Or adopt. These are gifts from God. 

As children of God, we were placed in the garden God made for us and given a mandate. To be fruitful and multiply. To fill the earth and subdue it. To exercise dominion. To tend and keep the garden/home. Genesis 1:28-29. 

God made us gardeners. We make things. We plant things, grow things, cultivate, and reap a harvest. We keep watch and protect. That’s our mandate.  

We also follow God’s pattern. He named His creation and spoke blessing over it. So did Adam. He named the animals. He and Eve named their children.  

What does it mean to bless? It’s to speak goodness over someone. Wellness. Wholeness. To flourish and prosper. To grow and mature. To thrive and be happy, healthy, productive and fruitful. It’s a unique and powerful form of LOVE. 

Blessing is the projection of good into the life of another. It’s a form of calling down/praying for divine favor and grace.  

Follow the storyline throughout the Bible and you’ll discover the Middle Eastern cultural importance placed upon the BLESSING—especially the Father’s blessing to his sons. 

God blesses his people
Fathers bless their sons
Mothers bless their daughters
Leaders bless their tribes
Aaron/Moses/David bless Israel/Kingdom
Pastors bless their congregations (Benedictions in NT) 

A few examples: 

The Lord spoke to Moses, saying, ²³ “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, Thus you shall bless the people of Israel: you shall say to them, ²⁴ The Lord bless you and keep you; ²⁵  the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; ²⁶ the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. ²⁷ “So shall they put my name upon the people of Israel, and I will bless them.” —Numbers 6:22–27.

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, ²¹ equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. —Heb 13:20–21.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all —2 Co 13:14.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. —Rom 15:13.

Consider childhood (your own included!) and search the landscape of children who seem to have lost their way. You’ll discover the reality that children ache for blessing. It’s a requirement for a healthy soul. 

Much has been written on blessing, the wounds of its absence and the healing of its presence, yet It seems to be a forgotten concept in our modern world. Regardless of its absence in our cultural conversation, this God-given need will resurface in moments of accomplishment and pain. 

The most famous scene of blessing in the Bible occurs at the baptism of Jesus. Before Jesus had done any ministry, raised the dead, healed the sick, taught the crowds, confronted the corrupt leaders, or trained the disciples, his Father spoke a word of blessing over him. His Father spoke goodness into the life of his son. 

Jesus’ ministry flowed from blessing, not for it.

Some move through life in an unblessed state. Perhaps rarely have they been valued, recognized, affirmed and loved to the degree that their hearts need to thrive. They are left empty, aching, lonely, and wondering if they are seen, heard, noticed. Wondering if their shame will ever be removed, their accomplishments ever noticed. Worse than that, some have been wounded and rejected, a kind of curse in the place where blessing belongs. 

As parents we all ache to bless our kids, but for some maybe it’s hard to know how to actually do it. How do we project good into the life of our children? 

Matthew 3:16-17 gives us an anatomy of blessing.

As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.

13 words spoken from a Father to His Son. 13 words that echo still today. 13 words that covered the entire ministry of Jesus. 13 words that propelled Jesus to move through a life of suffering and rejection with courage and confidence. 

Acceptance. This is my beloved son.
Affection. Whom I love.
Affirmation. With him I am well pleased.

As a pastor, meeting with people for the last 25 years, very few, and I mean very few, have experienced the deep realities of acceptance, affection, and affirmation over the course of their lives. —Jon Tyson

Here’s the truth:  Blessed people bless others. Cursed people curse and hurt others. So the question is this: what is flowing from your heart into the hearts of your children? Are you blessing them? Are you preparing them for a world of counterfeits and rejection and suffering and exclusion? 

Here’s come quick commentary one that divine blessing. This was developed from material I read by Jon Tyson, an Australian Pastor who helps dads connect with their sons: 

Acceptance.

Do we really accept our kids for who they are? Do they really feel loved simply being themselves? Or are we sending subliminal clues that they need to be something else? Something more, something different, something we want them to be? Do you accept their personalities, their non-sinful preferences and taste, their sense of style, their opinions and perspectives? Of do you want them to be something less annoying, less awkward, more attractive, more intelligent? Do they know that they are seen and accepted for who they are? 

Affection. 

Many parents love their kids, but fail to express that love in ways that connect at a deep emotional level. Children are easily wounded by the proverbial parent who shows love by working all week to provide, but is emotionally unavailable to enter the smaller world of the child’s reality. 

Think of your youth. Can you name a moment while growing up where your parents showed you deep affection in such a way that it registered in your soul that you were an object of delight? For many, these moments are few and far between. 

Are you communicating to your kids that they are liked, not just loved, celebrated, not just tolerated? Most parents are affectionate during the early years, but neglect it during the teenage years. The older your kids get and the more their preferences and choices and tastes get expressed, the harder you’ll have to work to do this. Though they won’t come out and say it, teenagers ache for affection even more, even if awkwardly expressed. 

Affirmation. 

Do we find fault or find joy in our relationship with our kids? Are we speaking words of affirmation over them in such a way that we are cultivating courage, strength, and confidence? What is the ratio of affirming their gifts verses correcting their behavior? Are we sending them into the world with a voice of blessing in their ears, or a voice of accusation and criticism? Are we celebrating progress or complaining about the struggle? Are we affirming the good, or highlighting the bad? A soul cannot be nagged into joy and growth. It must be affirmed and nurtured there. 

At the deepest part of Jesus’ being he knew who he was, how his father felt, and how he was doing. It was this inner source of blessing that enabled him to endure betrayal from his closest friends, rejection from the authorities of his day, resist the allure of the praise of man, and entrust his life to his Father on the cross.

If Jesus was given blessing for his calling and mission, and you know and feel your own need for blessing as a man, imagine how your kids ache for that same blessing in ways they probably don’t understand and are unable to articulate. 

They are growing up in a world where Christians are shamed, accomplishments scrutinized, and the risk of being cancelled hovers over every online interaction.  

Why not take a moment this week to specifically bless your kids?

Show them deep acceptance.
Lavish them with affection.
Affirm them for who they are.
Speak the words your kids long to hear.

Children grow up to carry what we give them into the wilderness of this life. When we bless them, we prepare, empower, fill, and equip them for a life in this fallen world.

That’s a truth we see played out in the Genesis narrative. 

In Genesis 12, God blessed Abraham. His blessing was specific and purposeful. He blessed Abraham so that he would be a channel and conduit of blessing to the entire world. The same is true of us. 

Anyone can curse. It’s easy. Like demo work in construction. It’s more fun and less work to destroy, tear down, criticize, and to curse. And it feels good. It’s faster. Impulsive. But to bless is to build up. Thoughtful. Upstream. Hard.

Many kids receive a steady diet of destructive and critical words from even their parents who are intended to be sources of love and blessing.  

Hurt people hurt others. Healthy people spread health. 

From Abraham on, God’s agenda has always been to bless the world through His people. I will bless you, and all nations on earth will be Berut—blessed through you. I will bless you and you will be a blessing. We are, as Christian parents—through Abraham, those conduits. All the good God gives us it to steward. And it begins in our home. We pass it on. To our own kids first. We have a privilege and responsibility. 

Without Adam and Seth, Noah, no Abraham. No Isaac. No Jacob. No Jesus. No you. No me. Key tasks is pass on a blessing. 

Fathers play a key role in this. Society needs you. Blessing passed down from Father. There are piles of scientific evidence that every single son needs a father’s blessing.

What does that entail?

Dr. John Trent wrote his best selling book, The Blessing, in the 1980’s. In depth work of Abraham. Check it out: 

He identified 5 aspects of blessing:

Meaningful and appropriate touch. Something profound happens even neuro-biologically, when you touch another human being (good or bad). A kind of infusion of energy and life force happens. Affectionately placing your hands on your children to bless them can be a powerful gesture. Human beings need human contact. They need to be comfortable with this and can grow to enjoy this and develop socially through it as well. God made us with bodies. Jesus picked up children, held them in his arms, and blessed them. Those who tried to prevent Jesus angered him.

Spoken Message: Love needs to be said, verbally. Spoken out loud. Etched into their ears and head and heart. They need to hear it. You need to mean it. Be thoughtful. Proverbs says the power of life and death reside in the tongue. It’s true! Words have power to shape our futures. Our children can live up to or down to the words we speak over you. 

My son graduated 8th grade at a Christian school last month. Their graduation was the first in the school’s history and it was a big deal and a long night. Multiple speakers. Pastor, deacon, teachers, head master. But the most memorable was a short little old man who taught those 8 graduates (3 girls and 5 boys) the Bible that year. He didn’t have notes. He didn’t need them. He walked up to each kid and looked them in the face and spoke the most powerful, impactful, deep and meaningful words of blessing over them. There was not a dry eye in the house. And everyone was on the edge of their seats. The place came alive. It was as if God came down in that moment and was with us in that little crowded chapel. This teacher looked at my son and told him he had a gift unlike any he’d seen. He was bold and courageous and had a way with people that gave him favor with them. He said he knew God would use that gift in the future and that no doubt, my son's boldness would be used in God’s hand as a kind of ministry—maybe a preaching ministry. I was struck by the man’s earnestness, seriousness and authority. I was so thankful for my son to be blessed in that way. He blessed each child specifically. It was an unforgettable 10 minutes. 

Attaching high value to the one being blessed. This is especially important when kids are young because what have they contributed? They take and absorb. They can’t do anything else. They are expensive. They wear you out. They exhaust you and make you sick. They break things. They are not accomplished yet. They are not contributing but consuming. But yet, they are yours and you love them and value them and want them. Tell them that! Show them! 

Picturing a special future. Looking into their future and naming it. My parents recognized my talents of building and constructing things. I became a carpenter. They recognized my desire to communicate and share truth. They recognized my love for reading and writing and encouraged me in it. I owe them so much for those blessings and affirmations.

An active commitment to fulfilling the blessing. This means more than words are necessary. How can we help our children become who God made them to be? They need our aid. Our help. Our support. Our encouragement. That requires commitment. Wisdom. Help. Prayer. Money! Patience! Partnering with the Spirit of God to form that child. 

When we are not blessed, we end up like Esau. We break down. We see a generation of Esaus today. He is an angry, hurt boy in a man’s body. Hunting for the love he needs.

“Most of the really driven and “successful” men and women, from CEO to executive types or even pastors, or actually little boys and little girls who were never blessed. So they get up every day, and they work 90 hours a week and they lie and they cheat and they steal and they post selfie after selfie and they aggrandize and blow money and do this and that and the other and they mow down the little guy, not because they are some horrible person, but because they were never blessed. And they are striving for the love and the approval of a Father. That’s all they want to hear.” —John Mark Comer 

Unblessed kids grow up to be seeking it from others in ways they are unaware of, always striving to earn the love, approval, and acceptance of their parents. Racked with a deep, felt need for a father or a mother’s blessing. 

Children who are never blessed have a hard time leaving home. Genesis 2 says “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. The two shall become one flesh.”

They get emotionally stuck in adolescence. Forever post-child but pre adult.  They have what one man called “The Peter pan and Tinker Bell syndrome.” Young men never want to grow up and young women never want to age. They live endlessly in a stage of immature Never Never Land. 

We bless our children because we have experienced and tasted the blessing of God ourselves through Christ in the gospel. We have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. We’re loved, accepted, welcomed, and received by God through Christ. We’re adopted into His family. We belong. 

Gods deepest desire for you is that you experience, enjoy, and share his blessing. This is the wonder and heart of the gospel. We’ve been lavished with his love, and inherited the riches of his grace. No one has the power to shame or cancel us before our great God. We’re invincible!

That’s important because we’ll never be able to give (bless) what we don’t have. We’ll never be able to show our kids what we’ve not seen, or take them where we’ve never been.